What is Intimacy and Sexual Avoidance?
“Welcome to the Intimacy and Sexual Avoidance (ISA) meetings of Sex Addicts Anonymous! Individuals from many different countries participate in the ISA-focused telemeetings and ZOOM video conference meetings, ranging from SAA members who have long-term sobriety to newcomers. Some have worked the Twelve Steps of SAA in order to stop acting out sexually, and are now examining the role of intimacy avoidance in their lives. Others have been drawn to this fellowship specifically because of the ISA-focused meetings. Still others have a spouse or partner whom they suspect struggles with intimacy issues and want to learn more by attending the open ISA meetings. Whatever brings you here, welcome!” ISA Awareness Committee (ISAAC)
ISA meetings
ISA meetings are listed on the International website – saa-recovery.org which lists more than 20 meetings through the week.
SAAtalk.info lists at least 21 meetings with an intimacy focus. You can use the search function at the top of the table to identify them – https://saatalk.info/us/meetings
SAAtalk.info list telephone and video meetings and lists many ISA meetings, the list is also available in this PDF: list of ISA meetings.
The international website has a section on Intimacy and Sexual Avoidance [ISA].
ISA literature
- Intimacy Avoidance
- First Step to Intimacy
- Is it Abstinence or is it Anorexia? page 6, Outer Circle for July-August, 2021
- Developing our own healthy sexuality in SAA
“Sex addiction is an intimacy disorder, meaning the ability to be grounded in reality and genuinely connected emotionally with another person can be damaged by compulsive sexual behaviors. In addition, some SAA members have found themselves ‘shut down’ sexually in recovery, afraid of sex because of its association in our minds with our addiction or with past sexual trauma, or because of a fear of intimacy and vulnerability.”
(Sex Addicts Anonymous, page 72)
The SAA telemeetings […] focus on applying the 12 Steps to heal from the avoidance of true intimacy […].
From the “ISA Awareness Event #1” announcement
The ISA 12 Promises
By cultivating a sober and spiritual connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others, we will discover healthier experiences of connection and sexuality. Our serenity will grow as we continue to live according to spiritual principles. The miracle of recovery from the addiction of intimacy & sexual avoidance will become a reality we experience every day. Working the twelve steps brings us many gifts:
1. We will find freedom from our addictive sexual behaviour; including intimacy & sexual avoidance
2. We will live in the present and enjoy our lives
3. We will learn to be emotionally present during sexual experiences, and use our sexuality to express our love, appreciation, and faith
4. We will grow in humility and will be able to admit when we are wrong
5. We will deepen our compassion and become more forgiving of others and ourselves
6. We will keep the company of people who love and respect us
7. We will start to see life in terms of growth, change, and transformation
8. We will have a greater sense of belonging, emotional intimacy and true friendship with others and ourselves
9. We will learn to express our affection, rather than seek isolation, false protection, power, or control
10. We will ask for and receive help when we need it
11. We will experience profound healing from shame as we learn to let go and cultivate vulnerability
12. We will see that the world is a much safer place than we had ever known before, because we are always in the care of a loving Higher Power
Are these extravagant promises? WE THINK NOT!
They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but they will always materialise if we work for them